Pride and Prejudice: An LGBTQIA+ Journey

If you clicked through expecting Jane Austen, please see this post. For everyone else, buckle up.

June is a time when rainbow flags fly and liquor companies (and everyone else) make bank off adding a little queer spin to their products. Everyone is at a different place in their life’s journey, and there are lots of different ways to celebrate. You might be right there and ready for it, or a little less out there—and that’s ok.

The sections below offer ideas for honoring the spirit of Pride no matter where you are on the spectrum, starting with the most private.

You Don’t Have to Take it Home

From the Victorian era to roughly 20-30 years ago, it was mostly not safe to be non-cisgender and/or non-straight—and if you were, you probably kept it to yourself and maybe people you knew well (or people who didn’t know you at all).

If this is where you’re at or you’re simply exploring, not sure or don’t want to advertise, keep in mind:

1. You can always browse and read at the library—you don’t have to check things out if you don’t want to risk someone else stumbling across a particular title. This is even true for interlibrary loan items—you can request them, be notified when they are on hold, take them from the hold shelf to one of our seating areas to peruse, then return them without ever checking them out (but please do check them out if you leave the library!).
2. Not sure where to start? Try browsing the 300 section in adult, teen or children’s nonfiction—or look for someone you’ve heard of in the biography section in the adult section (right by the manga) or in the Children’s Library (along the back wall). You’ll spot queer-themed titles without needing to know, look or ask for specific recommendations.
3. One of the true delights of being alive today is the existence and wide variety of e-media. You can download and read queer e-books, or listen to queer e-audiobooks and, as long as your headphones are in and you skip past the cover, no one will be the wiser.

Find a Safe Space

There have always been LGBTQIA+ people. History is full of different, surprising, fantastic and sometimes tragic ways communities existed, and like-minded folks found each other in all eras.

Pride happens in June in remembrance of the Stonewall Riots, a series of rebellions and demonstrations that followed a police raid on a beloved gay gathering space called the Stonewall Inn, located on Christopher Street in New York City. The Inn was recognized as a National Monument in 2016.

If you want to find a friendly community, or need a safe space, check out these resources:

1. If you are 11-17 years old, check out the B.L.O.C.K Teen Center. Most of the programming is not LGBTQIA-specific, but the adults are welcoming, and some of the programming is.
2. Check out Canton’s PFLAG group. PFLAG is “the nation's largest organization dedicated to supporting, educating, and advocating for LGBTQ+ people and those who love them,” and it has chapters all over the place.
3. Everyone deserves to feel safe, understood and valued in their families and communities. This post offers tips and online safe spaces for teens—but a lot of it is applicable no matter your age.
4. Depending on your need, location and comfort level, different resources may be available that you haven’t considered. There are supportive organizations with resources worth browsing, even if you’re not ready to go somewhere in person or make a big life change. Some of these sites have large, clearly labelled sections, so be sure to check them out in a location where you feel comfortable with that.
   • Affirmations Center in Ferndale, MI
   • Ruth Ellis Center in Detroit, MI
   • Equality Michigan based in Kalamazoo, MI

Send Subtle Signals

Being hidden in plain sight has meant that LGBTQIA+ folk have developed lots of different ways over the years to subtly (or not so subtly) signal their affiliations and affections. You may be aware of “gaydar” or even the handkerchief code, but did you know giving a bouquet of violets could indicate interest, or that wearing a monocle was once a sign you might be “light in your loafers”?

To send your own subtle signals, consider:

• Casually reading books with queer characters or themes in public. For example, check out these or these.
• Learn to flirt—but keep in mind not everyone likes the same thing. If you wouldn’t like it, probably don’t do it.
• Consider poetry, letter-writing or going through a friend-of-a-friend—it worked for Cyrano de Bergerac after all (eventually). The story might have had less tragedy though, if he’d simply figured out how to tell Roxane directly that he liked her.

Say it Loud, Say it Proud

Excited to show off your new rainbow highlights? Routinely covered in glitter? Have a hard time picking the perfect Pride-themed pin from your massive collection? This is the month for you—but really, you can celebrate Pride anytime.

While you do, remember: Rrainbows and glitter are for everyone—and everyone gets to decide for themselves. If you like rainbows, awesome. Go ahead and flaunt them, regardless of how you do (or don’t) identify. And if you don’t like them, there is a handsome and tasteful tradition of being understated too.

Here are a few ways to attract cool strangers and celebrate in public:

• Check out a local parade.
• Browse our nonfiction collection in the 746.92s (textile arts, fashion design) or 391s (customs, etiquette, folklore) for fashion inspiration. 
• Make your own personalized bumper sticker for your car, bike, laptop, water bottle, etc.

Happy Pride!