Talking With Your Kids About Sex

“Where do babies come from?”

“Why is mommy different than daddy?”

Many parents become uncomfortable when faced with addressing these questions. It is complicated by the fact that children are bombarded with images and mixed messages about sexuality. Parents need to decide how they will approach the topics of growing up, sex, love and relationships with their children. This will not only help kids develop a healthy body and self image, but also understand their family’s values on these issues. Many of the books included below were recommended for "further reading" by the Internet resources near the end of this collection.

Books for Parents

Amazing You: Getting Smart About Your Private Parts by Gail Saltz: This title deals with basic body awareness and sex education. It differentiates between body parts that are visible most of the time and those that are kept hidden, showing the differences between girls and boys.

Harmful to Minors: The Perils of Protecting Children From Sex by Judith Levine.

It's Perfectly Normal: A Book About Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex and Sexual Health by Robie H. Harris: Frankly explains the physical, psychological, emotional and social changes that occur during puberty—and the implications of these changes. Also discusses such subjects as sexual orientation, sexual reproduction, pregnancy, birth control, sexually transmitted diseases and sexual abuse.

Sex, Puberty and All That Stuff: A Guide to Growing Up by Jacqui Bailey: Explains the changes that occur during the teen years, including bodily and hormonal aspects of puberty. Also dispels myths and covers same-sex attraction and contraception.

Ten Talks Parents Must Have With Their Children About Sex and Character by Pepper Schwartz and Dominic Cappello.

What's the Big Secret? A Guide to Sex for Girls and Boys by Laurie Krasny Brown and Marc Brown: How can you tell a boy from a girl? What are the proper terms for body parts? How do you make a baby? Where does a belly button come from? This book answers these and similar questions.

Books for Children

Did the Sun Shine Before You Were Born? A Sex Education Primer by Sol and Judith Gordon.

First Comes Love: All About the Birds and the Bees—And Alligators, Possums and People, Too by Jennifer Davis.

How Are Babies Made? by Alastair Smith.

Where Did I Come From? A Guide for Children and Parents by Peter Mayle.

Books Specifically for Boys

From Boys to Men: All About Adolescence and You by Michael Gurian.

The 'What's Happening to My Body?' Book for Boys: A Growing-Up Guide for Parents and Sons by Lynda Madaras, with Area Madaras.

Books Specifically for Girls

Body Talk: A Girl's Guide to What's Happening to Your Body by Victoria F. Shaw.

The 'What's Happening to My Body?' Book for Girls: A Growing-Up Guide for Parents and Daughters by Lynda Madaras, with Area Madaras.

Videos

How to Talk to Your Kids About Sex, Love and Responsibility (Videocassette): This video provides a factual background for parents to reinforce their own values on sex, love and responsibility to their children.

What Kids Want to Know About Sex and Growing Up (Videocassette): The video was created for families with children eight-12. It includes simple animations and line drawings to help illustrate the physiology of puberty and reproduction. In discussions with sex educators Bob Selverstone and Rhonda Wise, real kids ask real questions and get straightforward answers about such concerns as the physical and emotional aspects of puberty, menstruation, intercourse, conception, masturbation, peer pressure, responsibility, parenting, AIDS and homosexuality, in language easily understood by pre-teens.

Where Did I Come From? A Facts of Life Teaching Aid (Videocassette): Narrated by Howie Mandel and presented in animated form with the use of proper terminology, this comfortable story follows the love of an everyday couple throught the birth of their child. Based on the book by Peter Mayle (see above under Books for Children).

Websites

Online you can find advice about talking to your kids that runs the gamut from full disclosure to conservative “talks.” Here are some sites that can help you find your comfort level.

Sexuality and Your Child (University of Missouri-Columbia): The material on this webpage focuses on children ages three-seven. It includes commonly asked questions, tips on becoming an “askable parent” and suggestions for choosing the right books.

Talking About Sex Helps Children Make Healthy Decisions: Tips for parents from Omaha Boys Town Pediatrics.

Talking to Your Child About Puberty (KidsHealth for Parents): Offers advice on the what, when and hows of broaching the topic of your child’s growing body.

Talking to Your Pre-Teen About Sexuality (pdf document): A five-page article from the University of Delaware’s Cooperative Extension Service.

Talking With Your Children About Sex: Advice from Dr. Benjamin Spock.

12 Tips for Parents: Talking to Your Kids About Sex: Advice from an Islamic point of view.

This Special Collection last updated on May 15, 2008.