Bullies and Victims: Helping Your Child Survive the Schoolyard Battlefield by Suellen Fried: Surveys peer abuse and provides suggestions for parental intervention and reaction. Understand different forms of bullying and different levels of response through a book written by a professional psychologist.

How to Handle Bullies, Teasers and Other Meanies: A Book That Takes the Nuisance Out of Name Calling and Other Nonsense by Kate Cohen-Posey: Covers annoying name calling, vicious prejudice, explosive anger, dangerous situations and causes of difficult behavior. Dozens of practical exercises and examples teach a comic approach to handling cruelty. Clear, concise, comprehensive and confidence boosting.

Keys to Dealing With Bullies by Barry McNamara: Profiles bullies and their victims; describes patterns, underlying causes, and long term effects; and offers specific suggestions for dealing with bullies.

Sticks and Stones: 7 Ways Your Child Can Deal With Teasing, Conflict and Other Hard Times by Scott Cooper: Offers children ways to express themselves assertively, respond to blame and teasing, and resolve conflicts while enhancing their communication skills and self-confidence.

What to Do When Kids Are Mean to Your Child by Elin McCoy: Comprehensive, solid advice to help children deflect teasing with humor or help parents know how and when to involve school officials. Suggestions include solutions for sibling problems, what to do when it's your child who is mean. The author turns to the children as well as the parents and experts for advice.

Parents and Children

Bullyproof Your Child for Life: Protect Your Child From Teasing, Taunting and Bullying for Good by Joel David Haber: "Bully Coach" Joel Haber, Ph.D., is one of the foremost experts in the prevention of bullying. From identifying bully types to exposing the reasons why kids become bullies, targets or bystanders, he intends to stamp it out once and for all. Delivering a practical, supportive, step-by-step "bullyproofing prescription" that yields lasting results for both boys and girls from grade school through high school, he aims to help any child build resilience and confidence, develop compassion and trust, and thrive in school, camp, sports and beyond.

When You Feel Like Screaming: Help for Frustrated Mothers by Pat Holt: Assesses the harmful effects of parents' displays of anger on the emotional health of children and offers strategies to help diffuse the tension in the family. A new 2001 edition is updated with bonus selections from "Ketterman and Kids: Answers to Questions Parents Ask Most."

Battles, Hassles, Tantrums and Tears: Strategies for Coping With Conflict and Creating a Peaceful Home (Good Housekeeping Parent Guide) by Susan Beekman: This strategy-packed guide covers all sorts of family conflicts creatively from two-year-old tantrums to teenage back-talk by giving family tested solutions. Self-assessments reveal individual coping styles to handle conflict: Collaborating, Compromising, Accommodating, Avoiding, or Directing; plus tips on how to apply the author's problem solving strategy to your home.

Kids, Parents and Power Struggles: Winning for a Lifetime by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka: Building on Daniel Goleman's groundbreaking work, Emotional Intelligence, the author addresses the causes of power struggles and offers creative techniques for using them as pathways to better family understanding.

The Encouraging Parent: How to Stop Yelling at Your Kids and Start Teaching Them Confidence, Self-Discipline and Joy: by Rodney Kennedy: A combination of theory and practical suggestions, a general overview of typical parenting systems of punishment and reward is presented. Practical solutions are listed with bullet points, followed by short explanations for busy parents. Lists cover topics such as "Verbal Bombs to Avoid." Lots of real-life stories are included illustrating the 14 different communication skills necessary for good parenting.

Backtalk: Four Steps to Ending Rude Behavior in Your Kids by Audrey Ricker and Carolyn Crowder: Presents a simple four-step program to create a back-talk free home. A large number of back-talk scenarios and bullet-point lists illustrate how to choose and enact a response that will make sense to you and your child.

Whining: 3 Steps to Stopping It Before the Tears and Tantrums Start by Audrey Ricker: The recommended techniques are based on the works of pioneering psychiatrist Alfred Adler and teach parents to discern the cause of whining by communicating assertively to change the pattern of behavior. Numerous real-life examples are offered as well as corresponding methods of response.

Taming the Dragon in Your Child: Solutions for Breaking the Cycle of Family Anger by Meg Eastman: Presents suggestions to break the cycle of anger along with how to discover one's own parenting and problem solving styles. Dealing with whining and tantrums has its own chapter and examples of how the currently popular time-out strategy doesn't work for all kids are scattered throughout. Excellent advice for understanding anger patterns, learning self-calming techniques and managing conflict with kids of all ages.

The Other Side of Love: Handling Anger in a Godly Way by Gary Chapman: A good resource to help you find out if your anger is definitive or distorted, help avoid imploding, recognize and process long-term anger, forgive, deal with anger toward your spouse, teach your children to deal with angry feelings, handle anger with God or yourself , and respond to an angry person.

Hot Stuff to Help Kids Chill Out: The Anger Management Book by Jerry Wilde: A child psychologist speaks to children and adolescents in a language they can easily understand. Several ideas and solutions are given on how to handle anger from the child's point of view. Written for children to read independently with some assistance from parents.

She's Gonna Blow! Real Help for Moms Dealing With Anger by Julie Ann Barnhill: A humorous way to make you think about the things you do and say to your children every day. Can be used in any situation that might cause one to want to blow, even without children. Takes a very serious subject and turns it into a very funny book, which helps lessen the incidence of eruptions.

Angry Kids, Frustrated Parents: Practical Ways to Prevent and Reduce Aggression in Your Children by Jerry Davis: Covers normal and abnormal aggression, gives examples and describes models to help control anger and frustration.

When Kids Are Mad, Not Bad by Henry A. Paul: Paul explains what makes children angry; how age, gender and background can affect their expression of anger, and the right and wrong ways to respond to anger-based behavior. Covers tantrums, insomnia and eating disorders, and how these problems can be masking a child's anger.

Endangered: Your Child in a Hostile World by Johann Christoph Arnold: Presents a disquieting look at a hostile world, full of difficult, frustrating and overwhelming issues and suggests thoughtful approaches parents can take to help their children survive and thrive in today's world. Challenges many of the well-meaning but potentially harmful norms parents fall into and shows the value of regarding children with reverence and love so as to make a lasting, positive impact.

Peaceful Parents, Peaceful Kids by Naomi Drew: Covers discipline, listening skills, conflict resolution, family meetings and anger management. Easy to read with many real life examples. Short summaries at the end of each chapter help parents short on time. Good bib has great resources for both parent and child, including web sites.

Communication

Boy Talk: How You Can Help Your Son Express His Emotions by Mary Polce-Lynch: Explains why expressive boys can turn into uncommunicative adolescents. Provides everyday strategies to help parents help sons develop emotional awareness and expression. May be valuable to those seeking an alternative to medication for boys with behavior problems.

Ten Talks Parents Must Have With Their Kids About Violence by Dominic Capello: Helps parents to teach their children to avoid violent situations and stay safe. Ten scripted family talks have been pre-tested by moms, dads and kids. Each chapter includes a brief introduction and helpful post-talk notes guide parents through an assessment of their dialogue and help them identify warning signs. Contains excerpts from actual parent-child talks and suggestions for engaging a less than enthusiastic child in this dialogue.

The Gentle Art of Communicating With Kids by Suzette Hadin Elgin: Realistic scenarios and dialogues help parents to be better listeners, speak firmly, yet compassionately, spot early warning signs such as anger, sulking and moodiness, and handle a variety of problems from bedtime and bathtime to serious issues of drug abuse and teenage pregnancy. The author is a bestselling communications expert whose titles include The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense, Genderspeak and You Can't Say That to Me.

How to Talk to Your Kids About Really Important Things (for children four to 12) by Charles E. Schaefer: Treats tough topics most parents would like to avoid in a sensitive, helpful fashion. Covers AIDS, death, divorce, child abuse and alcoholism, among other topics.

Tired of Arguing With Your Kids: Wisdom From Parents Who Have Been There by Dolores Curran: The author shares the best and most effective responses that worked for parents when their kids started arguing with them. Written with wit and wisdom to help the reader find the right words, attitude or approach to transform argument into acceptance. A 1999 Parents Choice Approval Award winning book.

What Did I Just Say!?! How New Insights Into Childhood Thinking Can Help You Communicate More Effectively With Your Child by Deborah McIntyre: Gives you phrases and practical statements to help your children process what you want them to understand. Spotlights a variety of behavioral strategies for help to avoid serial forgetting and tuning out, and help in understanding a child's special attention style, setting boundaries and coping with sadness and anger. The authors point out with humor that parents defeat themselves by inviting debate and taking on responsibility for the child's choices. Techniques are easy to understand and implement, and work, even for the most challenging of children.

The Teen Code: How to Talk to Us About Sex, Drugs and Everything Else: Teenagers Reveal What Works Best by Rhett Godfrey: This book decodes teen experiences into useful solutions by translating them into practical strategies that parents will benefit from immediately. It tells you what teens are thinking and how to discuss the issues on their minds. Reading it will help you to keep honest communication open.

How to Talk to Teens About Really Important Things: Specific Questions and Answers and Useful Things to Say by Charles E. Schaefer: An A-Z manual of do's and don'ts when talking with your teenager about drinking, violence, ethics, moral values, depression, homosexuality, prejudice, pregnancy, body -piercing and pornography. Considers that how you say it is as important as what you say. Plenty of discussion models, teaching suggestions, reference books and encouragement.

Parent Talk: Words That Empower, Words That Wound by Chick Moorman: A practical system of communication that helps parents encourage responsible behavior, healthy self-esteem, and motivation in their children. Humorous and delightful to read and helpful for communication in all relationships, with or without children.

Books for Children

Dealing With Fighting by Marianne Johnston: Explains how arguments can lead to fights and how to deflect them.

Dealing With Anger by Marianne Johnston: A discussion of anger, including suggestions for dealing with it directly, channeling it to something productive, and avoiding its destructiveness.

Dealing With Insults by Marianne Johnston: Discusses some of the reasons behind insulting remarks and offers advice on how to avoid offending others and how to respond to put-downs.

Dealing With Bullying by Marianne Johnston: An effective tool to help children protect themselves from bullies, better understand their behavior and even help the bullies become friendlier, nicer people.

Dealing With Someone Who Won't Listen by Lisa K. Adams: Discusses the nature of listening, problem of dealing with someone who won't listen, and what to do about it.

We Can Work It Out: Conflict Resolution for Children by Barbara Kay Pollard: Through candid photographs and simple questions, a childhood development expert portrays 14 common conflicts and their opposites; hitting fist/controlling fists, teasing/kindness, including/excluding and poor sport/good sport, among them, and 14 possible resolutions. Both victims and aggressors are addressed and questions and directives get children engaged in problem solving.

Peacefulness by Louise Raatma: Describes peacefulness as a virtue and suggests ways in which children can recognize it and practice it.

Don’t Hit Me! by Bernadette Ford: Two children are ready to fight, when one reminds the other that they should use words rather than fists to solve their disagreement. This includes activity ideas to help parents and children resolve conflicts.

King of the Playground by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor: Kevin learns to deal with a bossy contemporary at the neighborhood playground.

Parenting Teens

Healthy Anger: How to Help Children and Teens Manage Their Anger by Bernard Golden: A psychologist and teacher offers strategies that parents, teachers and counselors can use to show children how to identify the causes of their anger and respond in ways that give them understanding, self-control and empathy for themselves and others.

Not Much, Just Chillin’ by Linda Perlstein: Explores the lives of ordinary middle schoolers in topics such as consumerism, romance and hot trends like instant messaging. By tracking five students, the author focuses on how boys and girls view life, how they learn best, and what parents can do to help.

Girl Wars by Cheryl Dellasega: Two experts offer practical solutions that stop girls from hurting each other with words and actions. They explain not only how to prevent such behavior, but also how to intervene should it happen, and how to overcome the culture that breeds it. Illustrated by compelling, true stories from both mothers and daughters.

Odd Girl Out by Rachel Simmons: The author explores the hidden culture of silent and indirect aggression in girls by visiting 30 schools and conducting 300 interviews. Techniques such as the “silent treatment,” note passing, glaring, gossiping, ganging up, fashion police, and being nice in public/mean in private are discussed. She explains the hidden vocabulary in these private attacks and offers sample dialogues and exercises to resolve these conflicts. One original chapter compares how truth is handled and told in different ethnic cultures.

Parenting Teens With Love and Logic by Foster Cline: The essence of this technique teaches parents to allow their children to learn about solving their problems by setting up choices and consequences. It also examines anxious episodes parents may endure with teens.

Reviving Ophelia by Mary Pipher: Why are adolescent girls falling prey to depression, eating disorders and suicide attempts? Because we live in a sexist, looks-obsessed culture. By unmasking the real lives of modern girls struggling with a lost sense of self, the author offers compassion, strength and strategy for regaining their self-worth. This book shares a host of stories about girls undergoing a variety of crises such as peer pressure, relational aggression (bullying), gossip, teasing, cliques and techniques the author has tried with her patients. It is a most highly regarded, truthful portrait of the dangers teen girls must face in growing up.

How to Parent Your Teen Without Losing Your Mind: Questions and Answers for Teens and Parents from the editors of Christian Parenting Today and Campus Life: Divided into age categories and helpful subtopics for handling every situation such as "dating," "cruelty to animals," "bored in church" and "disrespectful friends" so that this helpful resource contains over 200 categories of potential situations and advice for parents.

The Angry Teenager: Why Teens Get So Angry and What Parents Can Do About It by William Lee Carter: A licensed psychologist who specializes in child and adolescent counseling helps parents overcome their anxieties about their angry teen and become a positive factor in their growth and development.

Bound by Honor by Gary Smalley: A well known family expert and Christian author has organized this book to help teens learn the importance of honor in all relationships, giving parents the tools to reinforce honor instead of anger.

Parent-Teen Breakthrough by Mira Kirschenbaum: Contains the secrets of parents successful at getting their teens to listen to them and who are also privileged to know what is going on in their teens' lives. Many practical suggestions and sample dialogues are included to help maintain a loving, non-combative relationship. Winner of a Parents Choice Best Parenting Book Award.

Books for Teens

Emily Post’s Teen Etiquette by Elizabeth L. Post: Here are tips on etiquette for email, call waiting, smoothing family relationships, and how to conduct oneself on dates or with peers.

Conflict at School

Preventing Youth Violence: A Guide for Parents, Teachers and Counselors by Raymond B. Flannery Jr.: A book on troubled kids that is clearly written, to-the-point, and easy to follow which summarizes the various warning signs and and types of hurts that youth experience, and how they can result in anger, depression and escalate to violence. Discusses caring attachments and other steps to prevent violence and reach out to teens.

Deadly Consequences: How Violence Is Destroying Our Teenage Population and a Plan to Begin Solving the Problem by Deborah Prothrow-Smith: Outlines the growing problem of teenage violence and gives ideas for being active and addressing the issues. Contains information on gangs and separate chapters on helping schools, families and communities prevent violence.

Waging Peace in Our Schools by Linda Lantieri: A practical guide filled with stories, ideas and advice to help teachers, parents or students who are trying to create a peaceable climate at school. Outstanding as a reference work for those working in Equity relations, peer relations, parenting adolescents, non-violence work, or as a tool to work with children at the preschool/elementary level.

Audiocassette Series

The authors of the following series are internationally recognized and highly sought-after presenters and trainers working with schools, parent organizations, mental health counselors and hospitals to present their "Love and Logic" philosophy which covers discipline, power struggles, homework issues and other aspects of parenting. Here are some of the titles we have at the Canton Public Library:

Didn't I Tell You to Take Out the Trash? Techniques for Getting Kids to Do Chores Without Hassles by Jim Fay and Foster W. Cline: Shares the importance of chores and their relationship to building a child's self-esteem. Offers parents the tools to get their children to do chores without problems.

Hormones and Wheels: Parent Survival Tips for Those Chaotic Teen Years by Jim Fay and Foster W. Cline: Three cassettes help to identify common teen-parenting problems while adapting the suggestions to daily life. A lighthearted look at the harrowing job of raising teenagers.

Four Steps to Responsibility: Techniques to Lead Children to Responsible Decision-Making by Jim Fay: Tells parents why those who aren't afraid to let their children fail raise young people who are independent, responsible decision-makers with high self-esteem.

Trouble-Free Teens: Smart Suggestions for Parenting Your Pre-Teen by Jim Fay and Foster W. Cline: Coaches parents in using love and logic techniques to guide children and preteens into the teenage years.

Videos

1-2-3 Magic (Videocassette): Behavior modification and discipline for children ages 2-12, which uses the popular "time-out" method.

Parenting for Today: Who's in Charge? (Videocassette): A straightforward approach to raising competent, responsible, and emotionally secure children which emphasizes discipline.

Electronic books can be accessed from the Canton Public Library and its Internet Branch via netLibrary. This includes access from home once the user fills in his/her name and password from the library's website at the netLibrary address.

Dealing With Being the Oldest Child in Your Family by Elizabeth Vogel: Discusses responsibilities and privileges of being the oldest child and advice on how to deal with both.

Everything You Need to Know About School Violence by Anna Kreiner: Written for grades 6-8, this describes the reasons for increased violence in schools and ways students can protect themselves and work for positive change. Brief case scenarios lend a personal touch to the text.

Everything You Need to Know About Conflict Resolution by Amy Nathan: Written for grades 7-10 to present ways to solve disagreements through words and mediation. Different kinds of conflict are described as well as resolutions, including active listening, brainstorming, and seeing the other side of the argument.

Everything You Need to Know About Anger by Renora Licata: Written for teens to discuss the causes of anger, all of its ill effects on people and ways to control it. Chapters cover when anger is positive, when a family is involved, when it leads to aggression, and the importance of self-esteem. Appendices include where to go for help and further reading suggestions.

Websites

iVillage Pregnancy & Parenting: General parenting advice for each age level on behavior, health and childcare issues, including expert advice from professionals who are real moms and links to resources for troubled teens.

Center for the Study and Prevention of Violence: Good school violence fact sheets for every state, plus bullying information and statistics on gangs and youth violence.

The Coalition to Stop Gun Violence: Non-profit educational charity dedicated to ending firearm violence, particularly as it affects children, by fostering effective community and national action. Posts current state and federal legislation and provides many full-text resources including studies, reports, fact sheets, and news articles.

Anti-Defamation League: The website of a leading organization fighting anti-semitism through programs and services that counteract hatred, prejudice and bigotry. Cites legislation and prints full-text press releases on civil rights issues and extremism. Of particular interest are sections depicting hate symbols and their meanings, the children’s bibliography, and Miller Early Childhood Initiative to help adults and children challenge prejudice and discrimination.