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saadaziz
Participant
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Joined: 06/27/2009

My name is Saad Aziz and I am going in 7th grade at East Middle School. I am 11 years old. I love computers and basketball. Swimming is also one of my hobbies. I like to read mysteries and scary stories. At school my favorite subjects are math and science. I hope this helped you to know me!

lifecloud
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lifecloud's picture
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Joined: 02/14/2009

Hi, Saad! Welcome to our class!

It's good to finally meet you. You've written a fine introduction here, although it's a bit short. You may want to expand this a bit. Also, try combining some of these short sentences to make complex ones. For example, can you see a way to maybe put all your hobbies into one sentence? Picture someone who doesn't know you reading your introduction. Short sentences make your reader stop and start, sort of like applying the brakes. If the sentences flow, your reader can relax and feel comfortable with you. Do you see a way to combine a couple of these sentences? You might want to play with this a bit and see what you can come up with.

See you tomorrow!
Linda